


Don't Speak For Me

by galia_carrots



Series: Somewhere Under the Canyon Moon [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Fluff, M/M, Somewhere Under the Canyon Moon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2020-12-17 18:16:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21058823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galia_carrots/pseuds/galia_carrots
Summary: Arya Stark has returned to her home town, this time with her now 6 month old son Sebastian in tow. Unbeknownst to her Gendry has not gone off to smithy school but is instead bar tending and living with Hot Pie. They live in the same town for three months without ever encountering one another, until one fateful day at the grocery store





	1. Dead Mans Dollar

**Author's Note:**

> y'all I am... so tired. I wrote 3 chapters of this on the plane from Seoul, and now I'm editing and I've been up for 23 hours straight. I can't check in to my hotel yet so I'm just killing time at starbucks and dying. Forgive any typos. When i get some rest I'll likely reupload the chapter.

__Don't wait until the morning  
Don't wait until the light hits the cracks in the floor  
Been living in the flight path  
Not perfect but it's all that we can afford  
I spent the whole day working  
Been trying to pin these dreams to the wings of a check  
Don't wait until the morning  
So tired but I don't want to go to sleep yet  
Yeah, I've been killing myself to make the dead man's dollar  
Been killing myself to make the dead man's dollar  
Been killing myself, killing myself  
'Cause I wanna make a life, make a life for you

_ \- "Dead Man's Dollar" Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness _

* * *

Arya was exhausted, she usually was these days. Between working the night shift at the Peach - a seedy motel next to the airport - and a six month old it was a wonder she managed to sleep when she did. She averaged six or hours but more often then not that was broken up in two or three hour increments. And with Sebastian getting more active by the day it was beginning to put an extra strain on her. 

“Thanks for taking him Sans.” Arya yawns, lifting her infant son up off the floor and pressing a kiss to his cheek. He had a smear of yogurt - or maybe a fruit purée - on his bib, and he probably needed a bath but she’d missed him while she worked. 

“You know I don’t mind.” Sansa yawns, draining the last of her coffee cup and putting it in the sink. Privately Arya had grown to hate that habit of her sisters, just leaving her used dishes in the sink for someone else to do, but she wouldn’t comment on it. She’d been the same until she moved out of her parents house three months ago. Now she understood why it bothered her mother so much. 

“You seem exhausted, was he up a lot last night?” Arya asks, rocking him gently in her arms, relishing the feeling of his downy black hair against her cheek. He was growing so quickly, and looking more and more like his father every day that he did. 

“Oh not too bad.” Sansa assures her, leaning against the counter. “He went down about a half hour after you left for work and he was only up twice, needed to eat about 3 am or so and he needed a cuddle around 5.” 

“Oh that’s not so bad.” Arya agrees, smiling at the baby who now rests his head on her shoulder. “You miss mummy last night hmm?” 

“He always does.” Sansa smiles. “I made the bed, hopefully he’ll let you get a little sleep.” 

“Probably not for another hour at least.” Arya sighs, sitting down at the small kitchen table and setting Sebastian on her lap, holding is two small hands in her own. “But it’s alright, we have to get to the store anyway, we’re out of bread and his baby snacks.” 

“Want a lift?” Sansa offers, rivaling through her purse for her keys. “I drive right by there and then you only have to take the bus back.” 

“That would be great.” Arya nods, it takes a half hour to get to the grocery store on the bus and if she only has to do it once all the better, the sooner she can crawl in bed with Sebastian and get some sleep. “Let me change his diaper and my clothes, can you wait five minutes?” 

“Yeah.” Sansa says, go on. 

Arya stands back up and hoists Sebastian onto her hip and taking him to the bedroom. The apartment is small and cramped, a combination kitchen and living space, then the bedroom and bathroom. She couldn’t afford a two bedroom so she’d had to make due with the one, even though her parents had offered to help her out she wouldn’t let them. They already took Sebastian more often then not when she worked days - and Sansa always came to stay when she had the night shift, which she’d been on for a week now and was really starting to kick her ass. She’d have to talk to Anguy and see if she could get off them soon. Night shift might have paid a bit more but she wasn’t sure if it was worth it if she was so tired she could hardly function. 

Not having room for a changing table in the bedroom Arya had laid a changing pad on the top of the dresser with a basket of diapers and wipes next to it. She lays Sebastian down on it and unsnap his onesie, wrinkling her nose at the smell. 

“Have I ever told you you stink?” She chuckles wrinkling her nose dramatically and shaking her head. Sebastian lets out a giggle of glee and waves his arms at her, a spit bubble forming on his lips. She smiles back at him and peels the used diaper off, folding it expertly before reaching for a wipe. She’s gotten good at this, something she’d never thought she would, for the first week he’d peed on her every time she changed his diaper. Ygritte had been the one to point out the trick of covering him with the new diaper while wiping him - but not without laughing at her a few times first. 

“There we go Mr. Stinky.” She chuckles, snapping the onesie back into place and wiping Bash’s face with the bib. “All clean.” She sets him in the crib - which is shoved between the wall and the bed with just barely enough space for her to slide between the two to set him down. “Wait for Mummy.” 

She edges out of the space and back over to the dresser, tossing the used diapers in the diaper genie as she did. She pulls out the first t-shirt she finds. One of those ones Gendry had left. Gendry. She hasn’t contacted him since she’d moved back from Wales when Bash was six weeks old. He’d gone off to smithy school like as not and she’d just never bothered. At least he seemed to have stopped driving by her house like her family said he’d done. 

She’s staring at the shirt when a cold nose pokes her hand. She looks down at Nymeria, with her big golden eyes. 

“We don’t got for your walk until after lunch.” She says. “You know that.” She scratches the dog between her pointed ears and pulls out a pair of jeans. Poor Nymeria has suffered the most with her night shift work. Instead of going with Sebastian’s to her parents while Arya worked he had to stay here and suffer one short walk a day. It was a miracle the dog hadn’t destroyed anything in the apartment out of boredom, all that’s changed about her is that she’s put on a fair bit of weight since she’s stopped getting as much exercise with the new baby around. 

Arya slips out of the black pants and peach colored top that is her work uniform and tosses them in the laundry pile. She needs to get a load in before she leaves for work. If she does Sansa will dry it and fold it for her before she goes to bed. That at least, her sister does. 

She pulls the jeans on - they fit but not quite as well as they had pre pregnancy, though her figure had for the most part returned - just a bit poochier. That was something Ygritte rued her for, but having one baby was a lot different then having four so close together Arya supposed. The t-shirt goes over her head and she reaches for the backpack she utilizes as a diaper bag and her purse when out with Sebastian. She’ll wear that, Sebastian’s baby wrap and pull the rolling grocery bag with her. 

“You still have the car seat base in your car Yeah Sansa?” Arya asks, her sister was the one who did most of the transport for Sebastian, picking Arya and him up and taking them to the house and then Arya to work most days was Sansa’s job. Which was just as well because most of her schooling was online and she lived at home. Her responsibilities were at the very least much fewer then Arya’s. 

“Yeah. I’ll bring the seat back when I come tonight.” Sansa says.

“Good.” Arya picks Sebastian up out of the crib and straps him into the car seat and drags it out to the main room. “Can you carry the seat out? I’ve got to get the grocery bag and the baby pack.” 

“Yeah.” Sansa says, taking the seat from Arya. “I’ll meet you down at the car.” 

“Thanks Sans.” Arya says, rummaging through the closet for the baby carrier and the grocery bag. She tries to grocery shop as little as possible, it’s a pain in the ass and given when she works days they eat at her parents most nights she’s able to get away with it in a way she wasn’t able to on the nightshift. 

She exits the apartment and locks the door behind her, heading down the stairs and to Sansa’s car. 

“Thanks so much for this Sans.” Arya sighs, pulling the grocery list she’d made at work out of her back pocket. “I’m so bloody tired.” 

“You look it.” Sansa says, pulling out of the parking lot and out onto the street. ”Thanks.” She mutters. 

“Oh come on,” Sansa gives her a look. “You know I didn’t mean it like that but you do need to get off this shift. It’s killing you.” 

“Yeah yeah I know.” Arya mutters. “But it pays better and I’ve only worked there a few months I’m not sure i can ask for what ever shift I want yet.” 

“A few months is a lot for that place.” Sansa points out. “Honestly why you’d want to work there I don't know, it’s seedy as hell and that Baelish guy who owns it is creepy.” 

“Yeah well it’s a job. You wait until you’re a single mum at eighteen.” Arya mutters. 

“You know you could -“ 

“I swear if you say tell Gendry I’ll strangle you.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“I would.” 

“Then I’d crash with Bash in the car.” 

‘I’d wait until we parked.” 

“Why won’t you just send him an email or something?” Sansa sighs exasperatedly. 

“Because not only would it ruin his life how do you tell someone they’re the father of a six month old?” Arya rolls her eyes. 

“Usually when you’re still pregnant that way they don’t just end up with a six month old.” Sansa rolls her eyes. 

“Yeah well I didn’t and I don’t care.” She points out. “Drop it Sansa.” 

“Fine, fine.” Sansa sighs. 

They drive the rest of the way in silence, parking in front of the grocery so Arya can get Bash into the baby pack. “Thanks again for the lift Sans. Don’t forget to put the car seat back in the house tonight yeah?” 

“I won’t.” Sansa says. “Get your shopping and get some sleep okay?” 

“I will.” Arya promises, waving as Sansa drives away. “Lets get our shopping alright baby boy?” 

She grabs the nearest cart, setting Bash in the seat first and then the back pack and grocery bags in the carriage. She spreads the list out in her hand and looks over it. “Milk, right milk.” She pushes the cart into the shop and heads for the dairy aisle. 

Thankfully the shop isn’t too crowded and she makes fairly decent time. Still it doesnt stop Bash from starting to get fussy, he’s tried and probably wants a nap and a bottle. She can’t blame him, she swears she’s starting to see double. She hands him her keys to play with and starts towards aisle nine to the last items on their list, soup. She parks the cart next to the soup cans, listening to the sound of Sebastian waving her keys around as she scans the soup prices. She’s damn sick of chicken noodle but it’s the cheapest. 

“Bash don’t you throw those.” She mutters, vaguely aware of him waving his arms about in glee at something out of her line of vision while she stands on tiptoe to get the soup. Whatever it is must really be exciting Bash, he’s making loud shrieks of glee and she hears the keys clatter the the ground. “Damn you.” She mutters, turning around to dump the soup int he cart. 

Dump it she does, but onto the floor rather then into the cart, she’s finally seen what’s got Bash’s attention. Standing a few feet from their cart, looking every bit as stunned as she is, is Gendry Baratheon. 

“A-Arya?” 


	2. Black and White movies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two, chapter two. Hopefully I'll get the third one edited and posted before I head back to Seoul tomorrow afternoon, but if not then it will come when I get home.

_Got no plans, just a feeling_   
_I'm no architect at all_   
_There's a fan on the ceiling_   
_And a telephone that you should call_

_Are you home tonight?_   
_Are you laying in bed watching black and white movies_   
_All alone tonight?_   
_Do you ever rewind to the summer you knew me?_

_-"Black and White Movies" Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness_

* * *

Gendry Baratheon did not usually come to the store at this odd hour, but as it was Hot Pie had left the milk out after another one of his baking extravaganzas and it had gone sour, leaving him with nothing to pour over his cereal. He’d rather begrudgingly pushed his shoes on and shuffled the 3 blocks to the store, cursing Hot Pie the entire way. 

Maybe it wasn’t entirely fair since Hot Pie did do most of the cooking and cleaning, but that didn’t mean Gendry had to be happy about it. He’d been at work until well after the bar closed cleaning up the vomit of an over zealous patron. Now here he was, still half asleep dragging himself to the store at nine am. 

He walks through the doors and grabs a basket, he may as well pick up a few of those apples Hot Pie was always talking about while here. To get to the produce, which was kept along the back wall, he had to cut through Aisle 9, soup and some other stuff he didn’t bother to pay attention to. There’s only one other person in the aisle - and maybe in the whole store - a young dark haired woman and a baby. He can’t help but make some faces at the baby, causing it to shriek and giggle, waving the keys - probably belonging to the mother - in it’s fist happily. He’d always liked babies, though he didn’t get the chance to be around them very much. 

As he draws closer the woman come more into his view, she’s facing away from him and slightly bent over. Maybe reaching for something on the bottom shelf or maybe checking unit prices, he can’t tell with the cart in the way. He frowns, she looks vaguely familiar, short dark hair, small, muttering angrily to herself. She looks like Arya he thinks. 

Arya. He’d made himself stay away from her house, and her family, and anything else to do with her for months, and this stark reminder of the girl he’d so loved catches him off guard. 

How often was he insisting to Hot Pie that he was over her? He was sure Hot Pie knew that he was lying, he still dreamt of her, and looked for her at their old haunts. She was never there, and she never reached out. For all he knew she was still in Wales or Scotland with her brother and sister in law. 

It’s not until the girl straightens up that he realizes he’s stopped dead in his tracks and is looking at her baby still. Gods he must look like such a creep. The baby is still shrieking with glee, though the keys seem to have fallen out of his hands. Gendry is about to make himself keep walking when he notices the t-shirt she’s wearing. 

It was one of his T-shirts. Or at least it had been before he’d left it at Arya’s and she’d never bothered to return it. He shakes his head. No, no that’s just someone else who happens to own the same shirt he’d had. Right? He takes a second long look. It really does look like Arya, but it can’t be Arya. Arya doesn’t have a baby. But- but it is Arya. The woman in front of him is Arya. Arya Stark is standing here right in front of him with an arm full of soup and a baby. 

The soup cans clatter to the floor and instead of moving to help, or brushing past her he stands there dumbly. She looks like a deer in the headlights, grey eyes wide, and shocked. 

She’s different then he remembers, every bit as beautiful, with her short cropped dark hair and those intense grey eyes. Her small stature hasn’t changed either, but she looks older, more tired, sort of ground down by the world. 

“A-Arya?” He finally chokes out, looking at her, and then to the baby who’s gone silent. A nephew or niece? A sibling even? The baby has lots of dark hair, but he’s big - well he thinks, he’s never been great at judging baby sizes or ages. And from here, his eyes appear blue. A knot forms in his stomach. 

“O-Oh god.” Arya mutters, swallowing, looking every bit as shocked as he felt. In the cart the infant begins to wail, evidently sensing something between the two people on either side of the cart. The sharp cry seems to draw Arya out of it, and she hurries around to the front of the cart, kneels to pick up the keys and jingles them in the baby’s face. When that doesn’t work she picks him up and sets him on her hip

_ oh god that’s her baby  _

He mentally tries to decide how old the baby is, but he can’t be older then maybe 6 or 7 months. Then he starts to work it out in his head,and his stomach twists even further. Was she pregnant when she left? He thinks she must have been. Maybe she hadn’t known yet? No, no if she had known then she - she would’ve told him right? Or at least told him when she found out? 

He takes a few steps towards her, that baby definitely has blue eyes. Oh fuck. 

_ That’s my baby. It must be.  _

“H-how old?” He manages, looking down at her and the still screaming infant. Up close she looks even more exhausted then she had at a distance. 

“Gendry it’s it’s really not -“ 

“Arya.” He says, the harshness in his voice unintentional but not unwarranted. “How. Old.” 

“Six months on tuesday.” She chews her lip, she still does that. It’s cute, he’d always found it cute. 

“Six - six months.” He breathes, raising a hand to touch the baby but lowering it again. “An-and he’s um - he’s - he’s mine?” 

“T-technically there’s um - there’s no father on the certificate.” She grimaces and he can’t blame her. A sudden flash of anger and hurt go through him. He wants to shout, to knock everything off the shelf on either side of them. To scream at her, to ask if she had any idea what he’d been through. What she’d put him through. 

He swallows hard. “He’s mine.” 

“Y-yes.” It’s almost a little squeak. “But- but listen you - you were - you were going to -“ 

“To be a shit father like my own?” He spits the words at her as hard as he can. Wanting her to feel an ounce of the pain he’d felt during her long absence. 

“No!” She insists. “No you weren’t it’s not - listen - I-I just got off a 12 hour nightshift I - I can’t do this.” 

“ _ You  _ can’t do this?” He snaps. “How in the hell do you think I feel about finding you and this kid who’s apparently mine in the middle of a grocery store at 9:13 on a tuesday!” 

“Well um -“ 

“No. No you don’t - you don’t get to make excuses for this Arya. You’ve - you’ve been back in town for god knows how long an-and you didn’t contact me. An-and you sure as hell didn’t tell me you were pregnant. You just said you wanted to end it and I never heard from you again! Now you show up in the grocery store with my kid!”” 

“Gendry shut up!” She snaps, bouncing the baby. “You’re scaring him. Look, Look if - I wasn’t right i-I - look I’ll give you my number.” She sets the baby back in the cart and pulls a pen out of her back pocket and a piece of paper that appears to be some grocery list. She scrawls hastily on the back. “I_i know - it’s - um it’s sudden… but like… if you - if you want — you don’t have to - but if you want, you can um - you can call that and - and we can talk.” 

He takes the piece of paper. “And if I don’t want?” He asks, a little colder then he intended. 

“Then don’t call. Throw it out. Burn it. Flush it down the toilet. I don’t care. I - I didn't involve you an-and you don’t have a responsibility to us so you can just - just ignore us. Forget this ever happened. Pretend I’m dead.” She shrugs, grabbing the back pack, the baby and a cloth carrier and hurrying away from him, leaving the store without her groceries or cart. 

Leaving him, standing there in the middle of the store, staring at her number, his insides twisting anxiously as she leaves.


	3. Monday Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp i'm sitting in the airport waiting for my flight, doing some writing and updating this fic. It'ss gonna be a couple of days until I get another update out, most likely Monday. I get into Seoul at 5pm Saturday, but then it's at least 2 hours to my house in the country and I'm going to be so exhausted that really all I'm gonna want to do is sleep.

_He brought her flowers on a Monday_

_Tuesday they kept the curtains closed_

_Wednesday it rained_   
_And Thursday was a river_   
_Pulling petals down_   
_From a single rose_

_He left her on a Friday_   
_Her Saturday was shot_   
_The bells in the cathedral rang on Sunday_   
_But Monday flowers were all she got_   
_He loved her_   
_Then he loved her not_

_\- "Monday Flowers" Andrew McMahon in The Wilderness_

* * *

Gendry lets the door slam behind him and he shuffles into the small apartment he and Hot Pie shared. He’d moved out of his mum’s place after her most recent boyfriend moved in, Hot Pie had his job at a bakery and Gendry worked at the bar, which for the most part meant they saw little of one another. He expected the apartment to be empty and to be able to go back to bed and process his shock a little. 

Instead he found Hot Pie seated on the couch, chins wobbling as he ate a left over pastry. 

“Oh hey man. Sorry about the milk, I meant to - What’s wrong?” Hot Pie set his plate on the arm of the couch and wipes his mouth.

“I-I just saw Arya.” He swallows hard. 

“Oh shit.” Hot Pie says. “I didn’t know she was back in town. Did - did you have - I mean did you talk to her.” 

“Yeah.” He trudges across the room and sinks heavily into the couch, the piece of paper with Arya’s phone number still in his hand. “Her number. It’s new.” He holds it out to Hot Pie. 

“I- oh… um well that’s - that’s good right.” Hot Pie takes the number nad turns it over to look at the shopping list on the other side, apparently not finding it of any note. “Was it- ya know good? Why didn’t she - I mean she must’ve just got back or she would’ve contacted us.” 

“Nope.” Gendry mutters. “She - she’s been back for months I think I - I didn’t really ask to be honest.” 

“She’s been back -“ 

“I’m a father.” 

“What?” Hot Pie seems genuinely confused about the words that have just come out of his mouth. Gendry takes a deep breath, swallows and says. 

“Arya - she - she had a baby. I’m a father.” He forces himself to look at Hot Pie who looks completely dumbfounded. He watches Gendry for a moment and then glances around as though hoping someone else might appear out of thin air and make this make anymore sense. 

“Uh… dude.” He says slowly. “I don’t want to like - rain on your parade, but she’s been gone like… over a year. I don’t think the baby can be yours.” 

“He is.” Gendry says. “I-I saw him he’s - he’s six months old. I don’t - she was pregnant when she left last year. She- she knew…” 

Hot Pie is quiet for a long minute and then finally, says “...dude that’s - that’s a dick move.” Gendry wants to reach out and slap him, but he lacks the energy. 

“Yep.” He leans back against the back of the couch. “An-and she - she just like, gave me her number and left.” 

“You gonna call her… does she want like - money or something? Is that why she came to you?” Hot Pie frowns. 

“She didn’t come to me. She - We ran into each other by chance. At the supermarket. Looking at soup.” Gendry mutters. 

If he hadn’t gone into the supermarket today he might never have learned about his son. How did he feel about that? He’d grown up without a father - at least aside from the monthly check his mom got. He’d never met the man, save for once when he started dating Arya and it hadn’t gone well. His father had made some lewd comment about how much she looked like her aunt Lyanna, and how much Gendry looked like he had as a kid and then Gendry had stormed off. Is that the kind of life Arya wanted for her -  _ their _ kid? 

“Well shit dude…” Hot Pie says. “She’s - I mean like - I hate to say it and all but - but also like… if you two met by accident like this it sounds like she wasn’t going to tell you…” 

“I-I don’t think she was.” Gendry mutters. “I - I think she was just going to… i don’t know. But - but I’m a dad Hot Pie.” 

“Okay so - so I don’t really know how this works. But - but if she’s not asking you for money, wasn’t going to tell you about the kid or the kid about you - and were you even on the birth certificate?” Gendry shakes his head and Hot Pie goes on. “Well then dude, I don’t think you are.” 

“What do you mean? I can’t just - pretend it never happened.” Gendry insists. 

“Well… i mean yeah you kinda can. You don’t owe her anything. She’s kind of a bitch.” He admits. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He snaps. 

“Dude why do you care?! She left you, she didn’t tell you about the kid she was gonna have. She doesn’t seem to want you there? So why do you keep trying.” Hot Pie sighs. 

“I - because I -“

”Because you’re still in love with her.” Hot Pie says flatly. “And dude, let me tell you - it’s going to destroy your life.” 

“Maybe.” He says, licking his lips and setting his jaw. “But I grew up with a dad who felt he could just - just check out on our lives. I’m sure as hell not letting my kid have that.” 

And with that he gets up and storms off to the bedroom. The nerve of Hot Pie to talk about Arya like that. Like - like she was just some random girl he’d been with for a while. She wasn’t, she’d been the first girl he ever really loved, and if he’d had his way he’d have been the last girl she ever loved. So why did she do this? And more importantly, is he going to let her? 

Hot Pie had never really understood the two of them, sure he’d admitted Arya was pretty, but Gendry was pretty sure he’d never really seen her as a girl - in fact for the first month Hot Pie had known he, he’d thought she  _ was  _ a boy. He hadn’t believed Gendry when he insisted she was a girl. It wasn’t until Arya had said it herself that Hot Pie had believed it. Hot Pie didn’t really understand why Gendry - who was two years older then Arya - would be so hung up on her. But Hot Pie didn’t understand that it had nothing to do with how she looked or dressed, she was  _ Arya.  _ She was intense, and fast, and fun, and she wasn't ever afraid to tell him he was being an idiot. So when they’d started dating in his final year it hadn’t really surprised Hot Pie, but even he would admit he never understood it. 

They’d kept dating after Gendry graduated, he’d been attending blacksmithing classes and had decided that’s where he was going, but he needed to save for it first. So he stayed with Arya, and then - then she left. Got pregnant apparently. 

Lying there on his bed, he finds himself wondering when exactly that would’ve been. If the baby had been born 6 months ago at the end of August would’ve meant… sometime around Christmas? It couldn’t be over christmas break. Aside from that one time in the bathroom at her family christmas party they hadn’t been able to have much sex during break. And they'd always used a condom - until… wait, there had been that one time… 

They’d been in the back of his car, Arya and Hot Pie having ditched school for the day to go to the coast. Hot Pie was livid at them for making him wait on a bench at the sea side for them to shag. They’d barely had a moment together in weeks and they’d both been more then a little eager. Only to discover the box of condoms in his glove box was empty and Arya didn’t have any in her bag. They’d meant to stop and buy Plan B on the way back to town, but Hot Pie’s complaining about being wet and cold had distracted them and they’d forgotten. 

His stomach twisted, how could he have forgotten that? How could he not have realized what was going on? Why hadn’t she told him? He’d have dropped everything to help her with that baby, that was his baby. How could she have thought anything different? 

He’s still got her number folded in his hand and he opened it and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He was going to do this. 

He dials the number and waits while it rings, at first he thinks she’s not going to answer, that maybe the number was just away to distract him long enough that she could do it again. But that’s not the case, she answers. 

“H-hello?” She sounds groggy, like maybe he’d woken her. 

“U-um is this a bad time?” He licks his lips. “It’s - it’s Gendry.” 

“Oh I thought it might have been the pizza man.” Even exhausted her voice drips with sarcasm. “Sorry that - sorry I’m tired. Um no it’s - it’s fine. What uh, what do you want?” 

“You told me to call.” He says dumbly. 

“I told you to call if you wanted.” She mutters. 

“I wanted.” He says. “I-I’m just - I’m really confused Arya. I don’t - I don’t understand any of this. Or - or how this works…” 

“Yeah I - well there’s not really a road map.” She clears her throat. “Sorry - sorry that’s not fiar to you. I’m just - just tired. I - I work the nightshift.” 

“Oh - oh shit should I have - should I call back?” He asks, feeling suddenly guilty. 

“No, no, it’s - I’d only just laid down anyway.” She sighs. “Look I - what do you want?” 

_ You  _

He longs to say it, but that will probably sound pathetic and needy. So he takes a deep breath and says; “ Look I - I grew up without a dad. I - I know what that does and I’m not gonna be a deadbeat asshole for my… kid.” It doesn’t come off as powerful and white knight like as he’d imagined because it’s only then he realizes that he’s not even sure if he has a son or a daughter. 

“S-son.” She stammers, apparently able to sense his confusion. She could still read him it seems. “Your son.” 

“My son.” He repeats. “I’m going to be there for my son.”

“Okay.” She says

“When can I meet him?” He asks. 

“When do you want to?” She asks. 

“Now.” 

“N- now? Okay look give me like, an hour. I’ll text you the address but don’t - it’s kind of a mess I’ve been on nightshift for two weeks.” She says. 

“I live with Hot Pie, trust me I don’t care.” 

“I’ll see you in an hour.” 

“An hour.” 

And just like that Arya Stark had come barreling into his life once again. 


	4. Halls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is later then I wanted, I didn't have time to sit down and edit it because University started back on monday.

_ When I left town you were heading for the altar _

_ And I told you I'd be back before too long _

_ I cut my hair and I found me a new girlfriend _

_ Thought a broken heart could write a perfect song _

_ And it did and I was right so now you're gone _

_ You echo in the halls _

_ I feel your shadow on this empty stage _

_ I hear your music through the walls _

_ I see your picture on the blank page, oh _

_ You echo in the halls _

_ \- "Halls" by Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness _

Arya rolled out of bed and looked enviously over at her son. Oh what she would give to sleep that good again. Or at all at the moment. Gendry’s call had come just as she’d started to slip away into a healthy doze, her eyelids heavy and finally giving into the sweet arms of sleep. Then he’d decided he wanted to be in their lives. In all honesty she hadn’t really expected that, not that she hadn’t thought he’d be a good father, she just had never thought of him as being in their lives at all. 

“Sebastian’s life.” She reminds herself. “He’s not here for me he’s here for Bash.” 

She goes into the small bathroom and starts the water before going back to the bedroom to grab underwear and a bra. The shock of seeing Gendry at the supermarket had lead her to peel her clothes off and crawl between her sheets naked , not something she’d done much since having Bash. She found that looking at the scar on her stomach and all that loose skin made her feel ugly. She didn’t like looking at it, and in fact she’d found she preferred to keep it hidden altogether. For the first time since she was about 8 she’d bought a single piece bathing suit when one was on sale last week. 

But today, today the exhaustion - both physical and emotional - had gotten to her. She’d completely forgotten her groceries and had just thrown Sebastian into the baby carrier and hurried to her bus stop, tears streaming down her face. Gods what had she done? 

That thought returns to her as she steps into the hot water and closes her eyes. What had she done? Been a complete idiot, just like everyone had said apparently. No one had bothered to tell her that he didnt go to smithy school for some stupid bullheaded reason. No one had bothered to tell her that he was apparently lurking about town. 

She can almost hear her sister say “You can’t blame us for your mistakes Arya”, and she supposes that Sansa would be right, she can’t blame others for her mistakes. She’d panicked, and in that panic had run off and refused to listen to reason. 

She picks up the shampoo and begins to work it over her scalp. What was she going to do about this? Gendry coming to her apartment. Gendry coming to see their son. Gendry. Gods he was still just as frustratingly good looking as he had been before. That seemed unfair to her, the fathers never gained the weight or got the scars. No no, they just got the cuddles the babies who looked like them. 

Tilting her head back to rinse the shampoo out of her hair she sighs, there’s not much she can do she supposes. Gendry wants to be apart of their lives. What does that even mean? Will he pay child support? Oh god he won’t think she only wants him around for the child support will he? She doesn’t, though she could use the money she won’t even ask him for it if he’s truly going to be involved. Will he want custody? That makes her stomach squirm like snakes, the idea of Bash over at his Gendry’s makes her nervous. She doesn’t know much about what he and Hot Pie have been up to over the last year but she’s almost certain it’s not baby friendly. Will he take her to court and try to get custody of him? She doesn’t think that can happen. The courts almost always sided with the mother anyway. 

She reaches for the conditioner and smears it on the end of her hair hurriedly, then takes the body wash and starts to scrub at herself. Besides she doesn’t even know how Gendry will handle being a father, maybe he won’t want custody now, while he’s so small. Or - or maybe he’ll want to wait until he can get a place better suited to having a baby. Yes, he’ll want to do that. Won’t he? Gods she needed to call her sister. 

She rinses her hair again and turns the water off. Yes she’ll call Sansa, Sansa will at least listen to her worries, even if she hasn’t got any idea what to do. She steps out of the shower and rubs herself down with the towel before tying it over her head. She pulls on her panties and bra and brushes her teeth before taking a seat on the bed to call her sister. 

“Sans?” She asks nervously. 

“Arya?” Sansa sounds confused. “I thought for sure you’d be in bed by now.” 

“Y-yeah.” Arya’s voice cracks. 

“Are you okay?” Sansa’s immediate concern is somewhat touching. They hadn’t been particularly close before her pregnancy. Arguing as often as not and almost always being at odds over something. Their personalities were polar opposites too but Sansa had been there more then anyone else during these early days of motherhood. Staying nights with Bash so she could work, and driving him back and forth from their parents house to home. 

“I-I ran into Gendry at the supermarket.” Arya stammers. “H-he knows. About Bash.” 

“Oh gods.” She hears a book close, great she’d interrupted Sansa’s studying. “Oh how’d it um - how’d it go.” 

“How do you think?” Arya mutters.

“Oh… he’s angry then?” Sansa says. 

“Well yeah, I mean I think so. He should be.” Arya wipes at her eyes and sniffles. “He um - I gave him my number and um, just sort of fled the scene.” 

“Oh, gosh well um… look I’ll pick up the groceries on my way over tonight, just text me the list.” Sansa, oh sweet Sansa. 

“Th-thanks.” Arya mutters, making a mental note to do that as soon as she hangs up. 

“Did he call?” Sansa asks. 

“Just now.” Arya nods. “Well okay, ten minutes ago but - but I needed to clear my head you know?” 

“Of course.” Sansa agrees. 

“An-and he’s coming over. In like, half an hour or something.” She whispers. “An-and he’s going to see Bash and - and I don’t know what to do. He wants to be involved Sansa.” 

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Sansa asks, clearly unsure of what to think at this point. 

“I don’t know.” She admits. “I mean - I mean it’s great that he wants to be involved and all but - but I don’t know what if this fucks everything up? What if - what if it gets nasty and there’s some awful custody battle?’

“Well…” Sansa says slowly. “It is his kid Arya. But - but it really doesn’t sound like Gendry to drag things to court or anything. Just - don’t like, i don’t know keep him from seeing the kid.” 

“Well I know…” Arya chews her lip. “I’m not going to, I’m just - I don’t know, I can’t lose my baby Sans.” 

“Arya you’re not going to.” Sansa assures. “Look, you need to sleep, you’re over tired and you’re overthinking this. How about I come over and handle the visit with Gendry?” 

“No.” Arya insists. “No No I - I need to talk to him, and um - look I’ll just call off tonight. I can afford one night.” 

“Won’t that fuck your sleep schedule?” Sansa asks. 

“Well yeah, but it’s kind of already fucked.” Arya admits. 

“Arya, can’t you talk to him later? When you haven’t been, I don't know, working nights for two weeks?” Sansa sighs. 

“No, I mean - I don’t know, it’ll just upset him more if I don’t talk to him today.” Arya sighs. “Look I just - I just needed to talk to someone okay.” 

“Okay.” Sansa says “Alright, anytime you need to talk, I’m right here okay?” 

“Yeah I know.” Arya assures. “Thanks sans.” 

“Any time.” 

Arya hangs up and runs a hand through her wet hair. She needs to get dressed, Gendry will be here soon and she’d like to eat something before he arrives, if she’s not going to sleep then she may as well do that. She stands up and pulls her clothes on, leaving Sebastian asleep in the crib and grabbing the baby monitor when she leaves the room. 

She puts the kettle on and opens the fridge to make a sandwich. While she sits with her tea and food she messages her boss and tells him she’s gotten a bug and was too sick to come in tonight. Her boss at least seemed to take her word for it, but he didn’t have much reason not to. She’d been careful enough not to mention that she had a son, not because he could fire her or anything, but because she didn’t trust them for a second. The Peach was a shady place and she didn’t want to give them too much information about herself. Maybe it was paranoid, but it was better to be paranoid then it was to be stupid. 

She’s just stood up to do the dishes when there’s a knock at the door. She takes a deep breath and steels herself to answer it. She turns the hot water on, put the plug in the sink and poured in some soap, then she answers. 

Gendry’s got his hands in his pockets and appears to have showered too, his messy hair is wet and sticks up in several directions, and he seems every bit as nervous as she is. “Gendry, come in.” She stepped back to let him in the door, he hesitates, but steps over the threshold. 

“Ari- Arya.” He corrects himself, quickly trying to cover the mistake. Oh great, her old pet name. “Um where’s -“. 

“Down for his morning nap.” Arya says. “I-I can get him up.” She knew Bash would be fussy, and then she’d really be in for it tonight. But it might just mean he takes a longer afternoon nap and lets her sleep a bit more.

“Um, um no lets just - we should probably uh - get some stuff out of the way first.” He shuffles his feet and scratches the back of his head. 

“Right.” She nods, moving to the kitchen and turning off the hot water. “You um - you want a cup of tea?” 

“Sure, sure.” He follows her into the small kitchen, looking around, she notices his eyes linger on the photographs on the fridge - ones of Sebastian and Nymeria mostly. “You still have Nymeria.” 

“Of course.” Arya says. “She’s gone a bit lazy but she’s asleep in the bedroom.” 

“I’d’ve thought she’d greet me.” Gendry admits. Nymeria had always liked him. 

“Oh she mostly keeps watch over Bash now.” Arya explains, pouring him a cup of tea and sitting down with hers. He follows her lead and takes a seat, still looking around. 

“So um - I don’t know I guess I should just get right into it.” He clears his throat. “Why um - why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I- well um…” she chews her lip. “Gendry I-it’s not that easy, I mean I - I didn’t want to ruin your life… I’d already ruined mine so..” 

“So?” He says. “You didn’t want to ruin my life? Arya do you - do you have any idea what you just up and leaving like that did? That ruined my life.” 

“I - I didn’t think -“ 

“I’ve noticed.” He says.

“Gendry, I can’t excuse what’s already happened. And - and I’m so sorry it did, believe me I - I have regretted that for so long.” She apologizes. “But- but it got to a point where it felt like - like I’d dug a hole so deep I couldn’t get out.” 

“I- no…” He says. “I’d always be here for you. And- and I don’t understand what I did to make you think otherwise.” 

“You didn’t do anything!” She insists. “I-I just - you were going to smithy school, you were going to have a really good job, and I didn’t want you to give that up for me.” 

“Or for my son?” Gendry asks. “People give stuff up for their kids Arya, it’s what we do. Besides i - I can’t afford smithy school. It’s expensive.” 

“I didn’t know that.” Arya sighs. “I- I made myself stop looking at your social media and stuff.” 

“And you blocked me from yours.” 

“I was trying to hide a baby.” She rolls her eyes. “Look Gendry, really I’m so sorry and - and I’m not going to ask anything of you, no child support or -or even babysitting or anything. I - however involved you want to be, that’s how involved you can be.” 

“I want to be part of my sons life.” Gendry says. “I don’t want to be the dad he sees on weekends, or two weeks in the summer. I want to be a proper father.” 

Well that was sort of what she’d feared. She chews her lip. “Gendry that’s - that’s fine, but - but we need to work up to it. He’s - I mean - he’s going to notice something is up. I’m not -I’m not going to just start letting you take him overnight or anything.” 

“Arya -“ 

“Just listen.” She snaps. “If you want to be that involved in his life we - we have to start slow. We have to do it as what’s best for him so - so for a while you’ll have to like, come over when I’m here, and then you can starts babysitting and then we’ll see about nights.” 

“How is that fair?” Gendry snaps. 

“It’s not.” Arya admits. “But you said sometimes people give stuff up to do what’s right for their kid. And right now that’s all I’m asking you to do.” 

She can tell he wants to protest, but he sighs in frustration. “Fine.” 

“Alright.” She says. “Now I’ll go get him up. Wait here.” 


	5. High Dive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much all I have to blame for the day is depression and the holidays. Time got away from me, and I've actually had this written for a couple of months, I just didn't have the energy to sit and edit. I've got 3 more chapters written though so I'm hoping this won't happen again.

_ Headlights in the driveway _

_ You stand in the window waiting _

_ The stars are out tonight _

_ One million fires burning _

_ Out there on the high dive _

_ You dance with your headphones on _

_ And I could watch you all night long _

_ Dancing to someone else's song _

_ \- "High Dive" by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness _

Gendry was a little pissed that Arya was the one who was getting all the say in how this was done, but he did have to admit she had a point. You did make sacrifices for your kids, and she was the one who knew their son best. Not that he had walked out or anything. No he’d just not been told. He’d have been right there for her if he had known. He should be furious at her - and he certainly had been, but as time went on he found more and more that fury gave way to hurt. Hurt that she could’ve done this to him. 

He didn’t understand how he could possibly still be in love with her. Yet when he showered to come over here he’d put on his best shirt and had had to stop himself from putting on aftershave. He’d caught himself treating this like a date rather then what it was - though for that matter he didn’t really know what it was. Visitation maybe? That seemed so impersonal for something as intimate as meeting his son, that was supposed to be an intimate moment. Maybe there just wasn’t a word for this at all. 

The apartment she lived in was small, and not in the best area of town, it made him feel better to know she had Nymeria here. Still he couldn’t fathom why she’d lived here instead of at home with her parents. Surely that would’ve been more affordable? They hadn’t kicked her out had they? He knew Catelyn was a devout catholic, as was Ned. He recalled Arya telling him once that Ned and Catelyn had taken in her aunt when she got pregnant and her grandfather kicked her out, so that didn’t seem to be very likely either. 

It’s Ayra that brings him out of his nervous thoughts - as she has a habit of doing so. 

“Here he is.” Arya says, holding the door out so Nymeria can trot out of the bedroom and shutting it behind her. The baby is perched on her hip, leaning against her chest and holding a fist full of her shirt. He wears dinosaur pajamas and is blinking sleepily. “He wasn’t thrilled with me waking him.” 

“H-he’s um.” He swallows hard, he’d been so overwhelmed at the grocery store that he hadn’t really gotten a good look at the baby. The baby who looks like him. Just like him when he was a baby. Big blue eyes, ears that go out at the tops a little more than normal, dark messy hair. “He’s beautiful Ari.” 

“Well I think so.” Arya smiles, kissing the mess of dark hair. “Alright we’ll get you a bottle hm?” She starts reaches for one off the counter, and stands on tiptoe trying to reach the shelf with the baby. 

“Let - let me.” Gendry stands up, reaching up and opening the cupboard. He pulls down a canister of formula. “If um - if you tell me what to do I can make it.” 

“Um - okay yeah.” She moves to sit down, setting the baby on her lap and letting him lean against her. “So there’s a scoop in the formula, put three of them in the bottle, then use some of the hot water from the kettle and just a dash of cold from the sink.” 

He does as asked, looking over his shoulder at the two of them in between steps. Sebastian is leaning against Arya’s chest sleepily, and shes rubbing his back. Gods she looks so young. She was young, he reminded himself, she’d just turned eighteen in the last few months. Guilt shoots through him again and he quickly turns away to add the water. 

“There.” He says holding the bottle out. Arya takes it with her hand and shakes it, then drips some on the inside of her wrist. 

“Checking the temperature.” She explains in answer to his confused look. It must be fine because she pops the bottle into Sebastian’s mouth and he begins to eat greedily. “There that was worth a wake up call wasn’t it? Well no it probably wasn’t but you can go back to sleep after this.” 

“Does he - is he a good sleeper?” He asks, sitting down at his seat and gripping his tea cup. 

“As good as a six month old can be.” Arya shrugs. “He doesn’t sleep through the night yet, but he only wakes once or twice so it’s not too bad.” 

“You - you said you were on the night shift - what do you do with him then?” He asks. 

“Sansa comes to stay.” Arya explains. “She keeps him at night if I work and if I’m on days he goes over to my parents. My mum just adores him so it works out for the most part.” 

“Good. Good.” Gendry nods, so she did have support from her family. “So uh - why don’t you live there? If they’re supportive and all…” 

“Mum would love it if I would live with them still.” Arya rolls her eyes. “But I needed some space, some independence. They help out but - but most of this place is all me.” 

“Oh.” He says, looking around the small kitchen/living room. 

“It’s not much.” She says. “A lot of places aren’t willing to rent to an 18 year old, her dog and a baby.” She forces a smile. “But we do okay. Nymeria keeps us safe and I always lock the doors.” 

“Yeah.” He says. “Can - is it alright if I ask a few things?” 

“Yeah.” Arya’s chewing her lip again. 

“Just - just about him.” Gendry assures. “Like - when’s his birthday?’ 

“August 25th.” She says.

“Did you have him in Scotland with Ygritte’s family?” He licks his lips nervously. 

“No.” She shakes her head. “Wales, with Jon’s aunt and her husband, Jon and Ygritte were there too but - but we went to Wales. With my family history we wanted to make sure I had proper care.” 

“Right your - your aunt died in childbirth yeah?” He frowns, he hadn’t even thought about how dangerous pregnancy really could be. 

“Yeah.” She nods. “She - she died of complications related to preeclampsia. Had seizures and everything. It was - well dad says it was really bad.” 

“Ah.” He says. “So - so hospital birth. Was labor long? Did you get pain medication?” 

“Well, no and yes.” She says. “I had an elective c-section. So technically there was no labor, and there was definitely a lot of pain medication.” 

“An elective c-section?” He’s never heard of that. “Like you - you chose to have one?” 

“Yeah.” She nods. “With my aunt Lyanna’s history they were willing enough to give me one and - and well… I was scared of labor. So…” 

Arya Stark scared of something. He didn’t think she’d ever openly admitted to that before. 

“And um, was he like - cute when he was born? Or did he look like a frog?” He smiles. 

“Total frog.” She grins, gods he loves that grin. “But all newborns look like frogs and everyone thinks theirs will be different.” 

“That’s a bit disappointing.” He chuckles. “Can I - can I hold him? When he’s done eating that is?” 

“Yeah, yeah you can.” She nods. “Besides I need a piss. Most of being a mum is needing to piss.” 

“Well at least the media gets something right.” He grins back. 

“There we go.” She says, propping Bash up and wiping his chin with a bib and sitting him up. “Want to go to -“ she pauses and looks at Gendry, confusion now lacing her features. “Who do you want to be?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Well I’m mummy.” She explains. “Do you want to be like, papa? Or daddy?” 

“Oh.” He swallows. That was a big decision. He’d never had to imagine what he wanted to be called by his kid. “D-daddy’s fine.” 

“Alright then.” Arya says. “Go on Bash, go to daddy.” 

Gendry reaches out hesitantly and takes the baby from her, he’s heavier than he’d thought he’d be. Gendry sets him on his knee and keeps a hand on his back, all the while Bash is looking up at him in confusion. It’s an odd feeling, Gendry decides, holding his son for the first time. Some strange mixture of awe and guilt twist inside of him. He takes a deep breath. 

“Wow.” He mutters. 

“I know right.” Arya’s watching them, and when he looks over at her he can see that she’s more serious and vulnerable then he’d ever known her to be. She knows the weight of responsibility sitting heavily on his chest as he holds his son. She knows the silent promise being made, that he’ll do right for his son. “It’s heavy isn’t it?” 

“Yeah.” He agrees. “It’s heavy.” Holding his son in his arms he begins to understand what she did and maybe even a little bit of why she did it. Because the sort of fear that this instills in him is like nothing he’s ever felt before. A human being is entirely reliant on them for love and protection, for food and water, for care and love. “I-I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid.” 

“It’s terrifying.” Arya agrees. “But - but worth it. At least - it has been so far.” She runs a hand through her hair. “You um - you still want this?” 

“Yes.” He says quickly. “ I - I want this more then anything.” 

“Alright.” She relents. “Alright… look I -I really need to go walk Nymeria and get a little sleep.” She sighs. “But - but you can come back tomorrow if you want. Play with him and stuff, I’m not working tonight so - so I should be better rested.” 

She wanted him to leave. His heart sinks a little bit. He’d hoped to get some proper time with his son, but she does look exhausted, and Nymeria is whining at the door. Is he really just going to up and leave her though? 

“Let me take Nymeria.” He offers. “Look I - I understand if you’re not comfortable with me babysitting and stuff yet, but I can walk a dog, and I want to help you. At least let me do that?” 

She chews her lip and looks from him to the whimpering dog. “Okay - okay, but - but when you get back just put her in the apartment and leave okay?” 

“I swear that’s all I’ll do.” He promises. 

“Okay.” She nods. “Then yeah, um, her leash is in the cupboard by the door, there’s poo bags on it.” 

He hands Bash back to her and gets up to get the leash. She stands and follows him, watching until they’re out of the door. 

He’s bound and determined to help in whatever way possible, and she’d forgotten her groceries at the store that morning, by the end of the walk he’s made a shopping list on his phone so he can go by on his way over tomorrow. When he opens the door to the apartment and puts Nymeria inside he notices it’s dark. She must’ve gone to sleep already, so he hurries to close the door and leave the building. 

He’s glad to see Hot Pie is gone when he gets back, he’s not in the mood for anymore questions about Arya or Sebastian. Instead he trudges to his room and stretches out on the bed, suddenly tired himself, and decides to take a nap.


	6. Stars Underwater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s an update that isn’t nearly four months late!

_You can pick yourself up_   
_You can start walking straight_   
_Tonight you're the life of the party_   
_When the bar lights come on at your paper parade_   
_You don't have to chase down the moon_   
_'Cause I'll leave the light on for you_

_-“Birthday Song” by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness_

The next day Arya finds herself regretting the offer for Gendry to come back. She’s somehow still tired, even though Sansa’s right, Bash is a great sleeper, up for a bottle of milk twice, and at five am Arya had held him and the bottle propped up against her chest and dozed lightly until he’d finished. Instead of putting him back in the crib, she’d shoved the pillows off the bed and settled Bash next to her, relishing the feeling of his warm sleepy body against hers. She didn’t really go back to sleep, she watched him and dozed on and off until seven when her alarm went off. 

Gendry was due at eleven which gave her enough time for breakfast, Nymeria’s walk and some house cleaning. She’s just come up from the basement with the laundry - Bash stuck in the backpack - when she sees him in front of her apartment. 

“Sorry.” She mutters, rummaging for the key. “I meant to be here when you arrive.” 

“Oh um - he stammers. “I-It’s early so I was just… well I wasn’t… I was gonna wait.” 

“It’s fine.” She assures, pushing past him into the apartment and setting the laundry basket down and taking Bash out of the backpack. “I was thinking maybe we could take him to the park. That way we’re not just sitting in the house all day.” 

“Yeah. Sure that sounds - good.” He nods, tucking his hands in his pockets. “Is there like a stroller or something?” 

“Yeah um, down in the basement storage area.” She nods, setting Bash on her hip and turning back to face him. “We can take Nym too, but she has to stay on her leash. You take him while I get the diaper bag?” 

“Uh - uh sure.” Gendry swallows, reaching out for his son. Arya hands him over and kisses Bash’s hair.

“I’ll be right back baby.” She says, turning back to the bedroom. “How’s Hot Pie been?” 

“Oh he’s… he’s alright I guess, works at a bakery now so he’s happy enough with that.” Gendry explains, following her carefully, as though he’s carrying something of the most delicate glass. 

“You’re not going to hurt him Gendry.” she chuckles, rifling through the dresser for a fresh outfit for bash and a few more diapers. “He’s fine, trust me.” 

“I just - I’ve never really been around a baby.” He admits. “It’s kind of… weird. I mean yesterday was… weirder but this is… weird.” 

“Yeah,” She chuckles. “I know, imagine them setting this tiny, frog looking thing on your chest and it’s completely dependent on you for everything.” 

“That’s horrifying.” Gendry’s gone a bit white in the face. 

“Oh it is,” Arya nods. “But you sort of - well not really get used to it, you can’t really get used to it, but you do adjust a bit. I worry constantly when I’m not here and I make Sansa promise to text me when he wakes up at night so I can make sure he’s still alive. She thinks I’m a bit insane but it’ll make sense when she has one.” 

“Yeah.” Gendry says, sitting carefully on the edge of the unmade bed and looking around the room. “It’s a bit cramped isn’t it?” 

“Yeah.” She agrees. “But it’s what I can afford and it’s hard enough to find someone to rent to an eighteen year old, a large dog, and an infant.” She shrugs. Turning around and tucking the things into the diaper bag. He’s quiet for a minute, like he’s thinking about that, like maybe it hadn’t really occurred to him just how hard all of this was. She hadn’t expected it too, a lot of people - especially men it would seem- never really seemed to consider the logistics of having a baby, especially on your own and young. She didn’t hold it against him though, it was her own fault she hadn’t told him, not his. 

“I-I assumed you’d live with your parents.’ He says, almost sheepishly as she zips up the diaper bag. 

“We did for a while.” She admits. “And we still stay over there sometimes, and they help out if I’m skint, but it was important for me to be out on my own, even if it is cramped, I like the freedom.” 

“Well that’s - that’s good.” He says. “That they help out and stuff, I worried maybe your mum wasn’t too happy.” 

“Oh she wasn’t.” Arya says, putting the diaper bag over her shoulder. “She was pretty ticked off at first, but she came around pretty quick to the idea of the baby. Less quick then she came around to the idea of not telling you.” 

“I didn’t think she liked me.” He admitted.

“Oh she didn’t before, and she definitely doesn’t now,” Arya chuckles, motioning him to follow her out the door, clipping Nymeria to her leash as she does so “But she wanted me to make you take responsibility and stuff, thought I was being stupid with not telling you.” 

“Were you?” He asks, shuffling out the door with the baby in his arms. Bash is looking around, his eyes staying fixed on Arya as she turns to lock the door, almost seeming to say ‘what the heck is this guy doing back here? Doesn’t he know this is our pad?’

“Probably” She shrugs. “I wasn’t being fair to you that’s for sure, but - but I guess it’s kind of hard to call it stupid too. I was scared is all.” She doesn’t look at him, the admission feels like some sort of betrayal. “Not - not scared of you or anything. But… scared of the whole situation.” 

“Well that’s… that’s fair I guess.” Gendry says, following her to the stairs. 

“I mean not rea- what’s wrong?” She frowns when she realizes he’s not followed her down the stairs, but is instead still standing at the top of them. He licks his lip in that annoyingly cute way that he’d done for years. 

“I um… I don’t want to - what if I trip.” He admits, his face turning a little red as he looks down the stairs. “And like, drop him or - or crush him or - or - why are you laughing?” He looks a little hurt, but she can’t keep the giggles to yourself. “Is it that stupid.” 

“It’s not stupid.” She rolls her eyes and goes back up the stairs to him. “It’s parenthood stupid.” She holds out her arms. “Give him here.” 

“You have the diaper bag.” He says. 

“Yeah and I’ve been carrying him and this diaper bag up and down these stairs for months.” She says, dropping Nymeria’s leash. 

“Alright, alright.” Gendry concedes, handing her the baby and bending to pick up Nymeria’s leash. 

“She’ll just follow us.” Arya shrugs. “She knows well enough to stay close since I can’t hold her leash going down the steps.” 

“I’ll hold it.” Gendry says, and she gets the impression he’s trying to make himself useful more than anything. 

“Alright.” She says, starting back down the stairs. Bash is holding her shirt tightly with one hand, as though he’s afraid she’ll give him back to Gendry. She tightens her grip on him as she rounds the corner and plants a kiss on his head. He’d adjust to Gendry in time, she knew that was true, but right now he was very much a Mama’s boy and an Auntie Sansa boy. Her father had been crushed when he’d started screaming at dinner last week after Arya passed him off to her dad. 

She pushes open the door to the basement with her shoulder and flicks on the light switch. Down the steps are two doors, one to resident storage, for bikes and scooters and stuff. Inside is her stroller, an older model bought online from a woman whose son had outgrown it. It’s not nice, but it will work. 

“Can you carry it up?” She asks. “I don’t think I can with him.” 

“Yeah yeah.” Gendry says, hurrying past her to pick it up. !!!!! He carries it up the stairs and she turns to follow him with Bash. She puts him in the stroller and tucks the diaper bag into the undercarriage. “The park far?” 

“About ten minutes.” Arya says, pushing the stroller out the open doors of the apartment and turning for the ramp. It was, theoretically, for wheelchairs - but as Bran had pointed out it was too steep for him to get the chair up and there was no lift in her apartment. The resulting effect had been Meera had been to see her, but Bran had been unable to. It bothered Arya but there was little she could do about it, the building was old, small, and cheap - and privately owned, so they weren’t obliged to make it accessible. Still it bothered her that her brother couldn’t come. 

“How does Bran get up that.” Gendry says as he makes his way down the steep ramp. 

“He doesn’t.” Arya shrugs, a bit touched he remembered and thought of her little brother. He’d not known Bran very well when they were together, and he never really hung out with him. Bran liked him well enough - and she assumed Gendry liked Bran, he never seemed to indicate otherwise - but she didn’t expect him to actively think of Bran. “I um - I see him on Sundays and stuff when I’m over for dinner.” 

“Oh.” He frowns. “That sucks, he likes kids doesn’t he?” 

“Yeah.” Arya confirms. “Always adored playing with Jon and Ygritte’s group of them. But he’s a senior at school so he can’t really come over on weekends anyway.” 

“Is he?” Gendry frowns. 

“Yeah, skipped a year.” Arya nods. “He’s ten times smarter then anyone I know - always has been. He wants to go to medical school.” 

“A doctor.” Gendry nods. “I could see that. What about that girl - um Meera? Are they still a thing?” 

“Oh Meera?” She chuckles. “She’s older, Sansa’s age I think, but he’s not with her. Never has been, no he’s interested in Jojen and just about everyone knows it.” 

Gendry laughs. “I kind of thought that, but with you guys being so Catholic and all, well I always wondered if he’d come out with it.” 

“He still hasn’t.” Arya says. “But it will surprise exactly no one when he does.” 

“Not even your mum?” Gendry chuckles. “She’s a Devout Catholic from what I remember? Or has she suddenly shunned the pope?” 

“Oh never.” Arya chuckles. “She still dusts his picture on the mantle every day like we live in North Korea. She does however have her gay uncle Brynden and his boyfriend Norbert - well okay, they’ve never come out either, but at this point they don’t really need to. It’s the worst kept secret in the family given Norbert hasn’t missed a Christmas in about 40 years. Then there’s Benjen and Jeor, who  _ are  _ out and openly affectionate at gatherings, so you’d think he’d know he can come out without being crucified or something.” 

“I guess.” Gendry shrugs. “It’s kinda personal though I guess. I mean - you keep it to yourself at so long it becomes kinda… yours.” 

“Oh sure, but I hope he doesn’t think we’ll be upset. Get the gate?” She asks as they approach the park and she has to halt the stroller. 

“Yeah.” Gendry says, moving ahead of her with Nymeria and pushing the gate open for her to push the stroller through. 

She parks it near the benches - the park is mostly empty, it’s a Wednesday so the local mums group isn’t in - they’re only Tuesdays and Thursdays. She picks Sebastian up and carries him over to the baby swing. 

“What should I do with Nym?” Gendry asks. 

“Just tie her to the fence, we’ll push Bash a bit, and um … we can talk.” She chews her lip, not really sure how one does about talking to your ex whom you hid a baby from. 

“Sure.” He nods, kneeling to tie the dog while Arya lifts Bash into the swing. 

“Want to swing sweet baby?” She grins, kissing his nose. She hadn’t been able to push him in the swings much even though he was certainly big enough to fit in one. He’d just started sitting independently a week ago and she’d made Sansa wait to take him to the park so she could be the one to give him his first ride. “Nothing to high to start with I think.” 

She starts pushing the swing gently as Gendry approaches. Bash looks around, one hand gripping the edge of the swing and the other hand shoved in his mouth, and then leaning over to gum the chain. 

“Oh Bash.” She groans, stopping the swing. She’d forgotten the teething ring in the freezer at home. She’d been warned in her birth club forum that teething was on the horizon. He hadn’t seemed distressed at home or anything, but he had taken to sticking everything under the sun in his mouth lately. 

“Should we stop him?” Gendry frowns. “That seems… dangerous.” 

“Probably.” She sighs, taking him out of the swing and setting him on her hip. “We’ll just go sit on a bench or something.” 

“Is he in a chewy phase or something?” Gendry asks, following her back to the bench by the stroller. 

“I guess.” she sighs. “I think he’s going to start cutting teeth soon. A lot of babies in our birth club are.” 

“Birth club?” He frowns. 

“A bunch of mums who have babies born in the same month.” She explains. “I guess he’s due for it. I have some teething rings in my freezer but I forgot them.” 

“Ah.” He says, watching her playing with Bash’s hands. “So um - like… what are we going to do and all?” 

“About?” She sighs. 

“Us.” He says flatly. “I - I understand if you don’t want to date but we need to be on good terms, for Bash. I don’t want to be like my mum and dad, screaming at eachother every time they’re in the same room. I want to be good with you Arya.” 

“I know.” She says. “And we’re not going to be anything like your mum and dad. We’re going to be friendly, and amicable. Even when it’s hard, and I mean I’m sure we’ll fight or something but we’re not going to be screaming at eachother every chance we get, and not in front of him.” 

“Good,” He nods, but she notices his voice is a little sad, and it hurts her heart. It only feeds into the wondering. Wondering if he does still have some affection for her. But she’s not willing to jump into a relationship when she’s not even sure how she and Gendry will coparent. She doesn’t want this to dissolve in front of her son in some horrible fire storm of events that will only serve to traumatize him and make them hate each other. 

They hang out at the park a little while, Gendry kneeling in front of Arya to play peekaboo with Bash. Even Arya’s giggling by the time they leave, the sound of her son’s giggles ringing in her ears. Gendry helps her put the stroller away before they turn their separate ways, setting up another visitation for that weekend. Arya gets the sense that Gendry wants to come sooner then Saturday, but she’s working nights until then and she need some space besides. He can tell she assumes, because true to his word on respecting her space and letting her take the lead he doesn’t say anything. He kisses Bash goodbye and offers Arya an awkward wave before he starts off towards the bus stop and she goes up the stairs. 


End file.
